| "SOLOMON! SOLOMON! WHERE ARE YOU!?" Mr. Gutter screeched as he searched the house. He finally noticed the door to the boiler room was ajar. Coming down the stairs, he saw a horrific scene. His son, Solomon lay in a pool of blood at the bottom the stairs. He picked up Solomon in his arms and checked his pulse. It was still there, he was merely unconscious. Mr. Gutter then squinted to look more closely at the wound on Solomon's head. It was a nice cut, but it couldn't have produced that much blood. He looked slowly down to the pool of blood, and saw ants sticking to the sides of it. It wasn't blood, it was KETCHUP! Solomon was known to be a prankster.
"DAMNIT, BOY!" Mr. Gutter yelled, angrily. "YOU'RE GROUNDED!" With that, Solomon immediately opened his eyes in Lee's arms.
"Oh, come on, pops. I'm supposed to go to the Fall Out Boy concert next Friday! This is so unfair!" Solomon pleaded. Obviously, Mr. Gutter was having none of that, and showed it by rushing up the stairs and slamming the door behind him, leaving Solomon in the dark. Solomon sighed and moved the hair from his eyes before slowly heading up the stairs. He immediately froze when he felt something hard probe his bum; he squawked and ran up the stairs and rushed out of the boiler room in a start. He ran outside the house covering his butt with both hands, looking for his big sister. "SIDE! SIDE!" He finally found her outside, making out with some japanese guy that pumped gas at the local gas station.
Breaking from her frenching with the gas pumper, she glared at her little brother. "What? You always ruin my moments."
"THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE BOILER ROOM!" He said in an exasperated voice to her. Sideney laughed loudly and rudely at him.
"Yeah, there's a boiler in there." She paused. "That all? I gotta get my mack on."
By now, Solomon was in tears. "I HATE MY LIFE! NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME!" He then dashed off to the local library, and got onto the computer, accessing his myspace, where he posted multiple bulletins, with the same title; "I WAS ALMOST RAPED". When somebody replied "Lol" to one of them, he burst into tears right then and there. Just then, somebody reached for his shoulder and said to him... | 
