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[Husky]

Originally Posted by FireWrath

Surprisingly, that was rather good. It sounds a bit more like you're just randomly talking and just happened to have the AABB rhyme scheme happening, also, I've noticed a bit of grammatical errors as well. With those things out of the way, I would say you did a good job. Perhaps breaking the entire stanza into two or three sentences rather than just one with a bunch of commas would give it a smoother feeling, for me at least. I would stick another stanza between the fifth and the sixth ones though because from my understanding the entire life has been nothing but drug abuse, and a single song changed that entirely, so I would explain the thoughts going through that person's head, and perhaps a bit of the song as well.

Honestly, I had nothing planned out, and all I did was open up a page, and write. Yeah, there are quite a few grammatical errors in there, because I'm comma happy. I'm not sure if I'm really ever going to do anything with it, seeing it was just for fun. I will try to fix it up later because my parents are taking the computer away from me, just for 3 missing homework assignments. I can tell you it's defiantly not finished. I agree that it really doesn't make to much sense with a song changing a life. There needs to be more to it. Thanks for the advice very much, it helps a lot.

Originally Posted by Hale'iwa

That's actually really good in my opinion, Solitary. I'm impressed!

xD, Thanks Hale. You should write some things up.

Originally Posted by InSane

that was really good. i liked it

Thanks to you to, it means a lot to hear that from you guys =D.