Quote:
Originally Posted by (+-Emo-Husky-+)  Honestly, I had nothing planned out, and all I did was open up a page, and write. Yeah, there are quite a few grammatical errors in there, because I'm comma happy. I'm not sure if I'm really ever going to do anything with it, seeing it was just for fun. I will try to fix it up later because my parents are taking the computer away from me, just for 3 missing homework assignments. I can tell you it's defiantly not finished. I agree that it really doesn't make to much sense with a song changing a life. There needs to be more to it. Thanks for the advice very much, it helps a lot. |
Post (or at least edit) if/when you add on to it, and I'll give some more feed back on it. As far is it stands now, your comma addictions can stop if you reread your work. You'll notice that some of it is simply better left alone as a sentence, rather than a fragment of one, such as, "
I'd payed the price, but luckily survived,
I remembered what I wanted, I knew I would strive,
I got out of the hospital and ran to the Church"
Could be broken up in four or five ways that I see, and needless to say, it's not the only stanza like that ;)
