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[Husky]

Originally Posted by FireWrath

Well this looks like it has quite a bit of potential, even though this type of thing has been done quite a few times. The wording doesn't exactly stand out or pop out as something a professional author would use, per say, and it looks a bit childish, but getting past that the story could easily override that annoyance I see. This particular piece you've chosen to share with us is too short to criticize on when it comes to the story, so I can't say I have much to say on that except perhaps give you ideas as to what should or could happen next.

Yeah, two things I am iffy about is the storyline because of so many other well-known pieces similar to it. The wording was also difficult for me, because I didn't want to have 1st grade adjectives, but I do agree that I tried to hard. This part of the story is really just the summary; what you'd find on the back of a book. And I guess ideas would be good, but I am somewhat far along in it, and I really don't feel like sharing it until it finished. That's one thing about me- I only share completed work.