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[N1nja]

Originally Posted by (+-Emo-Husky-+)

Yeah, two things I am iffy about is the storyline because of so many other well-known pieces similar to it. The wording was also difficult for me, because I didn't want to have 1st grade adjectives, but I do agree that I tried to hard. This part of the story is really just the summary; what you'd find on the back of a book. And I guess ideas would be good, but I am somewhat far along in it, and I really don't feel like sharing it until it finished. That's one thing about me- I only share completed work.

I actually think it looks like a pretty good start. (I know, I'm not much help as a critic... >.<)

If you want to avoid using 1st grade terms, just try thesaurus.com. It's helped me through a ton of times when I was just... descriptive-wordless...