| I don't see much point in saying what's already been said, but here's something I want to add.
When writing a poem, especially one that you want to have a certain feeling, consistency is very important. Needless to say, it lacks in that department. There aren't two stanzas that I saw that have the same flow, and there's not one that didn't have some sort of break. I also don't like that you have one word on the entire line, and a total of two words in certain couplets. I realize that you're trying to put emphasis on them, but you have to realize that if overused, it loses it's meaning. Imagine having bold words in a sentence that you really want to stand out. Now imagine more than half of them being bold, and all of a sudden, it does not have that feeling that it should have. | 
