With Gas on Empty

[Bunneh]

One more. I don't mean to flood the Haven, but I've been writing so much lately. I've written around 20 poems in the past three days, mostly at work but also in various places. I'm getting more spontaneous about it (writing) now, which feels good.

This one had very complicated line spacing that I just don't feel like translating into bbcode. Sorry for that, if you enjoyed the spacing on the others.

With Gas on Empty

I wonder what happens
When someone runs out of words
Personally,
I can’t imagine it
Having no fuel to feed my inquisitions
Losing lovely thoughts
Trying to push out the ghost of originality
Mind running on vapors

Maybe that’s dying
Someday, I’ll lie sick in a bed
Breath ragged, eyes raw
I will see the end of my words
Coming at me like a bullet
Hands trembling, I will reach for the pen
And the flawless bullet will strike
Shimmering and otherworldly
A final moment of uncompromised understanding
The pen will twitch
I will scratch out the last poem

In my bed, all my thoughts will be gone
And I will understand that I am dying
Unafraid, I’ll say my last peace:
Someday; we’ll see

[Benita Mussolina]

I loved this poem so much, I had to read it out loud. It has that train of consciousness feel without being incoherent and rambly. It feels like the speaker* was having a conversation with the reader as opposed to laying out thoughts and feelings for them.
And I also enjoy the fact that the poem, while there are musings of death and dying, is by no means morbid or depressing.


*I feel like the speaker of every poem is a character of their own, thats why I say that instead of you.

[Infernal Angel]

This is fantastic! It seems so.. natural.. like a deep train of thought just formed effortlessly into words. Which I guess is what Benita said. haha sorry.
But I love it.

[millicent]

I like poems that tell a story, and this poem does just that. I think it's like one of those "stream of consciousness" narrative poems, and you've executed it beautifully. I think you can also rework it into a short story. It makes me curious why you feel that way. :P

[rowanmommy]

This poem really struck me.
You phrased everything so well and it did not drift off course.
I have no suggestions, honestly, on how to make it better.
The last words of a dying man... would they be the most powerful?
Or the most depressing?
I suppose only time will tell.

It breaks my heart though, in so many ways. A powerful poet, a writer one who brings out our deepest thoughts and dreams... would their last work be something that leaves us with their wisdom, will they feel it has been enough? Perhaps a beloved writers last words would not be a poem, or a story... maybe a penned name of all that they have loved in life. That is what I could choose to write and bring to my mind... all that I have loved.

Again, well done.