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05-14-2008, 02:14 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| In Purgatory  
Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Australia Age: 17 Posts: 1,480 Rep Power: 0 | HOW CAN I IMPROVE MY FIRST POEM?
Roses are red, Violets are violet.
Die.
IDEAS?! | |
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05-14-2008, 02:18 PM
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#2 (permalink)
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Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 236 Rep Power: 0 | Die die while I eat pie .... best line ever
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05-14-2008, 02:22 PM
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#3 (permalink)
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Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: USA D: Posts: 2,468 Rep Power: 7 | How about roses are red, violets are blue
Wait a second... haven't I heard that before?
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05-14-2008, 02:25 PM
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#4 (permalink)
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Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: USA D: Posts: 2,468 Rep Power: 7 | See this was my point of my other thread, getting flamed everywhere
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05-14-2008, 02:26 PM
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#5 (permalink)
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Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: New York Posts: 1,305 Rep Power: 0 | Quote:
Originally Posted by sidespin  See this was my point of my other thread, getting flamed everywhere | It's a poem. | |
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05-14-2008, 02:28 PM
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#6 (permalink)
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Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: USA D: Posts: 2,468 Rep Power: 7 | Quote:
Originally Posted by Sniper It's a poem. | A very lovely one indeed
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05-14-2008, 02:29 PM
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#7 (permalink)
| Rich Bitch
Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 1,415 Rep Power: 5 | Die you ho?
__________________  That's how I roll, yo. ~Proud to be me.~ | |
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05-14-2008, 02:30 PM
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#8 (permalink)
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Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 3,202 Rep Power: 0 | Quote:
Originally Posted by Doctor Roses are red, Violets are violet.
Die.
IDEAS?! | You need to address the person that you wish to die, as well as a comparison or at least something catchy before that. Here's an example,
"Roses are red, violets are violet.
Coolptool is annoying, and he needs to die."
Problem with that kind of poem is that it's already been done, so it's not creative, I suggest something like, "Die." on it's own, as a one-word poem, that was it's original, and puts emphasis where you really need it. | |
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05-14-2008, 02:31 PM
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#9 (permalink)
| Resident Psychopath.
Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: fewmitz@live.com Posts: 4,976 Rep Power: 15 | It's already perfect.
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05-14-2008, 02:31 PM
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#10 (permalink)
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Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: USA D: Posts: 2,468 Rep Power: 7 | Quote:
Originally Posted by FireWrath You need to address the person that you wish to die, as well as a comparison or at least something catchy before that. Here's an example,
"Roses are red, violets are violet.
Coolptool is annoying, and he needs to die."
Problem with that kind of poem is that it's already been done, so it's not creative, I suggest something like, "Die." on it's own, as a one-word poem, that was it's original, and puts emphasis where you really need it. | That there is some good imput. You'd be the first one word poem here I would think.
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