Need help/opinions from our lovely writers

[Axed]

I had to write a paper for my English final as opposed to a written test, and although it's already been graded, we get the chance to revise it for more points before sending it off to IB Land (don't ask).

My teacher really enjoyed my paper (and I quote "This was a very interesting paper to read! I really enjoyed it!"), but one thing she wanted me to change was my ending sentence. Teachers always want you to end your papers with a resounding word of wisdom, and I guess mine wasn't wise enough.

This is where you step in, my lovely little writers!

I want suggestions on how I can change the ending of my paper, to make it much more powerful. So I can get those two points back and get 100. C:

ESSAY TOPIC
The rejection of social and cultural norms in Antigone and Chronicle of a Death Foretold

ORIGINAL
"But in the end, just because one breaks a rule or steps away from the expected, does not mean that one is doing the wrong thing."


To be honest, it probably is one of the weakest sentences in my entire paper. So help!

If you need any other information about the paper, just ask.

[R]

FUCKKK THE MACHINE YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, THE MAN IS JUST TRYING TO KEEP ME DOWN SO YOU BETTER BE HAPPY WITH WHATEVER I WRITE YOU CONDESCENDING BITCH

[tealeaf]

Lolol I read that as

Need help/opinions from the good Hangovers

And was about to suggest you drink some water while drinking next time oO

In the end, stepping away from the expected and breaking the rules does not always necessarily label the action(s or words) as "wrong".

does not necessarily always
does not always
does not necessarily

Replace wrong with whatever word you wish. Change "action" to how it fits the essay.

Something like that?
I hate using "one" in my essays..I always try and word the sentences differently to avoid it lolol. Makes me feel pompous or full of myself or something.

Not saying you are...just is the reasoning why I removed the "one" from it.

It also makes it stronger with its removal oO

[Axed]

Thanks for your suggestions!
I am also open to a completely new sentence, if you can think of one.
For now, I do like that, because it is stronger than what I had.


@Kyo: f u

[Arachnid]

Try some famous quotes perhaps?


"Any fool can make a rule, and every fool will mind it."
Henry David Thoreau

"Rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men."
Douglas Bader

"If I'd observed all the rules, I'd never have got anywhere."
Marilyn Monroe

[Axed]

Ooh, I LIKE that idea. Especially Marilyn Monroe's quote, I think it suits it very well.

[R]

Originally Posted by Axed

Thanks for your suggestions!
I am also open to a completely new sentence, if you can think of one.
For now, I do like that, because it is stronger than what I had.


@Kyo: f u

it's a _good_ end, add mine and it's _better_

[Axed]

Will do Kyo, will do