 » Site Navigation | | | | » Advertisement | | | | » Recent Threads | | | | |  Religion. 07-30-2008 02:36 PM  Last post by ftwToday 01:13 PM 60 Replies, 605 Views | | | WTF Today 01:08 PM Today 01:08 PM 0 Replies, 1 Views | |  |  | A poem I need opinions on. |  | 
07-06-2008, 06:32 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| Dead, because I killed it  
Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Nevada Posts: 471 Rep Power: 0 | A poem I need opinions on.
Meh no point in showing seeing tht it sucks.
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Last edited by Condemned92; 07-06-2008 at 09:07 PM.
Reason: It sucked
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07-06-2008, 08:12 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| Banned 
Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 3,202 Rep Power: 0 | This is not a whole lot better than the previous poem that you wrote. Everything I told you to improve in that one you ignored, and you decided to stick even more crap there. I now see grammatical errors, odd sounding phrases, a hint of racism, and lack of creativity. | |
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07-06-2008, 08:15 PM
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#3 (permalink)
| Underground 
Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 616 Rep Power: 3 | Just as crappy as the first. As FireWrath stated grammar errors.
Also the racism I do not like.
Also I see Bias in the US poem.
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I want a pony <3
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07-06-2008, 08:35 PM
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#4 (permalink)
| Underground
Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: So Cal Age: 18 Posts: 652 Rep Power: 1 | Yeah, there are some grammatical errors but it isn't awful. Just keep working on it. I know you can do well =) Also who cares if it's a lil' racist. It's your poem do what you wish. | |
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07-06-2008, 08:56 PM
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#5 (permalink)
| Dead, because I killed it
Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Nevada Posts: 471 Rep Power: 0 | Quote:
Originally Posted by FireWrath  This is not a whole lot better than the previous poem that you wrote. Everything I told you to improve in that one you ignored, and you decided to stick even more crap there. I now see grammatical errors, odd sounding phrases, a hint of racism, and lack of creativity. | please tell me the racism i didnt meen to this time and im tired of tht nazi stuff so wat i kinda am a nazi im over with tht and i wnna frget it
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07-06-2008, 08:57 PM
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#6 (permalink)
| The Dude Abides
Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Iowa City, IA. Age: 20 Posts: 2,755 Rep Power: 12 | "Scums" isn't a word; it should be scum.
Aside from what other people have said, I really think there is very little to add. These aren't good poems by any stretch. They show little to no improvement from the first two. In fact, they even show a little hint of trolling, which I would much prefer that you tone down for future poems and stories you post here.
Also, if you plan to continue writing poems in a series like this, I would prefer that you keep them to one topic rather than making multiple topics. | |
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07-06-2008, 08:59 PM
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#7 (permalink)
| Dead, because I killed it
Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Nevada Posts: 471 Rep Power: 0 | Quote:
Originally Posted by Bunneh "Scums" isn't a word; it should be scum.
Aside from what other people have said, I really think there is very little to add. These aren't good poems by any stretch. They show little to no improvement from the first two. In fact, they even show a little hint of trolling, which I would much prefer that you tone down for future poems and stories you post here.
Also, if you plan to continue writing poems in a series like this, I would prefer that you keep them to one topic rather than making multiple topics. | oops i wrote scums im sorry im new to poems im just trying hard to learn
btw i need to know the racism i wnna stop it
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Last edited by Condemned92; 07-06-2008 at 09:06 PM.
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