Title pending. (Really FUCKING long)

[Fewmitz]

Foreward: So this is an introdution of sorts. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do about it, but I kind of like it, it does what it's supposed to do. No, there's certain things to this you won't be able to understand fully, most likely, that will be elaborated upon later (again, introduction). I'm not sure what to call it. We'll call it organization, for now.
Criticism is welcome, but only legitimate criticism please.

Now, good luck getting to the end!

~~~~

“Am I dead? Of course not. There’s work to be done.

It’s raining. Why is it raining? It’s always raining, you know that. One way or another, it’s always raining. Always, no matter what, the form the rain takes on is the only thing that may be drawn into question. It’s a slippery slope we’ve taken. No, not just us, it’s a slippery slope the entire country has taken. You know what I mean, yes? It’s pathetic, actually. To think that the country that was established in the name of freedom, in the name of equality, and as an opposition to tyranny has been degraded to a symbol for all it was established to rise against. No longer a savior of the fallen, no longer and outspoken defender for justice, and certainly no arsenal of equality. No longer can the beast provide refuge for the downtrodden, for now the beast itself is the very one that perpetuates the continuation of degradation and prejudice. It’s not all that bad though, I mean, our country still sits supreme, a God among men. None can challenge the might, lest they be destroyed. At what cost? Can it really be said that the freedom of the hoi polloi is a worthy sacrifice for dominance over others, especially foreigners? Can you honestly say that morality can be shoved under the rug if the incentive is appealing enough? You know it can, don’t deny it, you’ve done it yourself. We’ve all done it, in one respect or another; we’ve all decided that, in some arbitrary instance, emotion and morality must be sacrificed in the name of efficiency. But what convention is that? Shove the basic principles of an entity to the side so that the war machine may continue on, breathing, huffing, devouring any obstacle set before it? The ends justify the means, always. Emotion is a helpless ploy under the false ideal that we owe something to those we don’t know, that we need to do what is right in the name of absolutely nothing except that we have an urge to do it. Even under the simplest definition, how can that be justifiable? Following a course of action because something tells us deep down that we want, nay, need to? Can you see nothing wrong with that? How is emotion valid in any process? It hinders, it retards, and it slows, ultimately to a crawl, any goal it attaches itself to. A parasite, that’s what it is, feeding, tearing the host apart. I would say that. You would, though, do not deny it; you have faltered, and given way to such juvenile concepts before, to deny such is ludicrous.

Am I dead? No, surely not, there’s business to attend to. Of course.

Although, I’m not sure I can completely support that stance. After all, it’s put us in quite a predicament. You’re aware of it, I’m sure, but I think it’s important to emphasize that had we followed things through a little more thoroughly, we might not be trapped in the proverbial hell hole we’re in now. It wasn’t our fault though. How could it be? We did everything right, the fact that the locus of control was on the outside is nothing we could have countered. Perhaps we could have tried a little harder, risen up with more ferocity, defended our right more completely. That’s idiotic, ifs and buts won’t help us now. The past is done; we have more important things to focus on. We must turn our attention to the present, and the future.

It’s raining. That might be a good thing. The winds of change blow towards us, but we need to stand united, we need a plan, a solid, concrete method of attack. We cannot fail. Not this time. We are the last hope, the messiah, the only one to stand against the devil rising in the distance, higher and higher, watching, always watching. We have seen the old ways fail. We have seen the temple uprooted by the citadel and the so called defenders scatter light frightened rabbits running from the wolf. No, we cannot fail. We are the last hope, and this time, there can be more mistakes.

We can succeed, that won’t be a problem. This time we will have help; this is no petty rebellion in the name of a cause no one fully understands. This is a revolution in the name of a return to normalcy. Never before has the beast needed to defend against and conquer so many. Through sheer force of will, and nothing else, we must plunge the dagger through its throat that we, or if not us the future children of the Earth, may rebuild and sow the seeds of bliss once more. Doesn’t the old saying go ‘If there must be war, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace?’. Yes, I think it does. Well, that’s a pity, because that can’t exactly be the case this time. What do you mean what do I mean? We cannot hold anything back in the name of a fleeting hope that one day everything will balance out and things will fix themselves. No, this is no time for idealism. We will all rise up, and charge as one. Share victory, share defeat. Mmm, yes.

Am I dead? No, surely not. There’s business to attend to. Of course, business, but it will not be easy.

I’m not sure, still, this is quite the chimera. This is, as defined before, no petty rebellion. Our enemy is not a weak one. He will fight, and he will throw every many of demon at us imaginable. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, those who gain it seldom wish to give it up, and that is the case presently. The ifrit will not surrender lightly. It will fight to the death, and no matter how it’s approached, many will die on both sides. But it’s not a matter of brute force. Albeit that force and force alone decides who’s going to be the hunter and who the hunted, simply charging everything in there and hoping for the best will not work. Tactics, that’s what was lacking last time. We need tactics. The shotgun approach is effective very rarely, and never against these odds. No, we will rise up as one, and the gale of our trumpets shall echo through the hillside. We will attack, flawlessly, and quickly gain the advantage. Kill, burn, destroy until the hill is won. And once we sit atop our throne, we cannot give it up; to surrender the high ground is certain destruction. Any slip up will be capitalized upon, and it’s not at all unlikely that it will only take one mistake and our force will be disassembled.

One must admit, however, that the approach that was taken to ultimately seize power was, if nothing else, intuitive. No, one must admit nothing. One may concede nothing to the sphinx, that’s what it hungers for, gratification. Those who have nothing envy those who have something, and those who have something, envy those who have more. We must not feed this complex. We must keep it hungry. No acknowledging achievements. Starve it, make it look inward for nourishment and ultimately destroy itself.

That’s not the point; even on the most basic level the method used to strip the entire system was breathtaking. We can’t really say it happened quickly, there were definite warning signs. Of course there for, but they were only allowed to show themselves once it was too late to counter or prevent them. Alterations to the cornerstone of an entire civilization designed to strip the system of any mean of balancing power. From there it was a simple matter to hijack the brain and run the entire organism as it wished. A parasite that ultimately lead to the decadence of one of the most impressive achievements known to man. But then, can’t we stop it? No, it’s self perpetuating at this point. One cannot rip its heart out from the inside because there is no heart. There is no focal point one can attack with civility, not at this stage. What about…without civility? That’s the path we’re going to have to take. The main problem with combining the armament and the governor’s hall is that if the armament is overpowered, the entire province will collapse, and there will be no aid for it, not without support. And if all of that prospective support is favoring the organization aimed against it, then the province has a very large, very real problem. This is what they will realize. But they will realize it too late, and they will fall.

We mustn’t be so harsh; everyone has given into mortal desires at one point or another. You certainly have. Don’t deny it. I can’t deny it, no one can deny it. To be human is to act human. A perfect society is impossible if run by humans, and a perfect society can’t be run by machines, because then the humans will refuse to subject themselves to such. It filters back into emotion. Worthless, corrupting. It’s a terrible situation, and one that most are subjected to, which also merits sympathy. However, we must not let it delay our actions. The only way to recover from a situation such as this is to strike for the vitals and bring the serpent to its knees. Bring the serpent to its knees? That doesn’t make sense. But the general idea is the same thing.
Am I dead? No, of course not, there’s work to be done.

Can we really be considering that? We cannot hold one responsible for the actions of many. We cannot hold the current incarnation of the system responsible for the actions of the past! Maybe so, but we can hold it responsible for not halting the continuation of those actions.

But that’s still not fair is it? To hold such a harsh penalty for a relatively minuscule –in the grand scheme of things at least– and call that an improvement upon what’s already been established and what’s currently being carried out. Did the prophets not preach ‘Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who have sinned against us?’
Maybe that’s off. Not ‘Forgive us our sins’ but ‘smite us for our inequities.’”

[Husky]

I feel bad for you because no one is responding.

Honestly, if you write, then it has to be amazing.

I just don't have the patience to read all of it...

Not a good critique now am I?

[Cataclysmic]

Pre-reading post:

Give me a little while. I'm going to read this, reply, then go to bed.

EDIT: Fuck, I'm too tired. I read the first paragraph, and I can tell that this piece of work is very deep. I'm loving it Few. Just from the first excerpt. When you see me tomorrow, online, please remind me to read the rest.
Just stop me when you see me post and tell me to come back and read.
G'night.

[Benita Mussolina]

I'll tell you why no one has been able to really finish reading this yet:

1. That first paragraph is a gigantic block. You need to separate it somehow because its a real bitch to try to read.
2. Its written in a very stream-of-consciousness way which can be very interesting but difficult to read because the flow of the sentences can be choppy, nonsensical, or unneeded. Kind of like the sentence I just wrote, eh! Run-on, much?

On a side note, I imagine the story is narrated by someone with a snobby British man. At least from what little I have managed to read. I'll give it another go in the morning and see if I can finish it, but at the time being it seems near impossible.

[Fewmitz]

Originally Posted by Benita Mussolina

I'll tell you why no one has been able to really finish reading this yet:

1. That first paragraph is a gigantic block. You need to separate it somehow because its a real bitch to try to read.
2. Its written in a very stream-of-consciousness way which can be very interesting but difficult to read because the flow of the sentences can be choppy, nonsensical, or unneeded. Kind of like the sentence I just wrote, eh! Run-on, much?

On a side note, I imagine the story is narrated by someone with a snobby British man. At least from what little I have managed to read. I'll give it another go in the morning and see if I can finish it, but at the time being it seems near impossible.

#1) You're right, there's a break that's supposed to be in there that disappeared for no reason.
#2) Is intentional.

And no, he's not British ;o

One of you might peg what he is, but he's no British.

[Husky]

Is it Li narrating it?

I can imagine that.

[Cataclysmic]

Right, then.
So I finished reading.

I must say, I am very pleased with where this is going.
Very deep, as I said before.
Very detailed in thought provocation.
Though, if it weren't for this being an "introduction of sorts", I would be a bit lost as to where it was going or what the true meaning behind such a writing would be.
However, that is not the case here.

Few, very well written, and I definitely look forward to any further installments.

[Junkas]

There should be a TL;DR note on this story. Basically a summary.

[Fewmitz]

Originally Posted by Max

There should be a TL;DR note on this story. Basically a summary.

A summary for an intro? What the fuck?

Okay, here: It's raining, and we need to do it.

And again, it's not Li, it's a character, made by me, for a BOOK.

Yeah, @Cata- I'm not sure if I'm going to post everything I write here, because not all of it is going to be as deep and awesome as the intro. But, if I only post bits and pieces, it'll get confusing, so I dunno.

Any alterations I decide upon will be added accordingly.

And yeah, the first paragraph is staying, I like it that way, and so it shall be.

[FireWrath]

Normally books don't have a full blown speech in them, and if they do, it's broken up by descriptions of what happens to the surroundings and/or characters. It was a rather interesting read, but I wouldn't stick that in the very beginning, but rather sometime after the introduction itself as a way to show that character's feelings as to what's happening. Either a monologue, or a rather long conversation with another character.

I'm not going to pick at the typos and the whatnot, but the constant correction of that character gets a bit repetitive. Lines such as "One must admit, however, that the approach that was taken to ultimately seize power was, if nothing else, intuitive. No, one must admit nothing" I would probably word different to show that he/she two different thoughts on the same subject, but wouldn't make it an argument between him/herself.

The only country that comes to mind would have to be the United States, though I can't say for sure that that's exactly the one you picked