Where my heart lies

[Cody!]

In the distance,
My heart lies,
Where brash winds blow,
And sun never shines,
Where the trees are a pitch black,
The grass, which was once emerald green now grey heaps,
Where no dove can show,
Only hate and beset,
Where my rose will never come,
Not belated, never,
Over the sea of red,
Lies an ace of spades for anyone who tries to reach me,
My heart lies where it can ache for an eternity,
In the distance.

Something I wrote to help relieve some of my stress

[DexlessToTheMAX]

Nice Poem, short and too the point. I like short.
You illustrated the setting well. Personally I didn't like the wording, or order of thoughts but that is just the difference between our styles of writing. For example I would have put the fact of the sun never rises, on the third line, to begin the description of the setting.

Then just little wording things, but as I said its your poem not mine and therefore, I am not going to show you how I would have wrote it.

One simple mistake " Where the trees are a Pitch Black" Should not have an "a" unless there was some sort of reason for it, I think it just looks like a typo, but does not require changing nor does it ruin the flow of the poem, its more of a decision leave the reader thinking its a typo or some brilliant way of describing the trees. O.o I am hoping it was a brilliant Idea I totally missed, but I'm not sure. :P

Thats My Two Cents. Good Poem.

[Cody!]

Thanks for the critiquing feedback and yeah I think when I was writing it I was thinking a shade of color
Where the trees are a (shade of) pitch black,
I don't know it works but i think flow it sets

[Krazii3]

wow this is great! I couldn't write a poem to save my life!