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 SOTW #1 Winner
Old 10-06-2008, 03:19 PM   #1 (permalink)
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SOTW #1 Winner

This week's winner is Judie, with her entry:

Quote:
She got into the car with ease, gracefully, with an air of utmost confidence, her slender and lithe frame seeming to float in the cool and fragrant evening air, her actions flowing, like honey, neither jerky nor unsteady as she settled in the limousine, the distinctive smell of the tan leather seats in the air as well as the unique musky scent of her perfume, and turned to face the man beside her, noting the way that the moonlight reflected the fine lines of his cheekbone and jaw, emphasising his beautifully chiselled face, from which radiated a demeanor of indifference, cool confidence, almost insolence, completed by his close-cropped peroxide hair, which was in stark contrast when paired with his intense grey eyes that danced with a blazing inner fire, and like beams of sunlight, their focus on her warmed her to the core, like molten lava flowing within every inch of her ethereal body.
Excellent sentence. You might have considered cropping it after "peroxide hair." After that point, it seemed like you were just attempting to stretch length as opposed to style. However, your beautiful description carried throughout. Fantastic sentence; well done.

On our other entry, Hodizzle's sentence, I found that stylistically she lacked the descriptive details that made Judie's sentence shine. While still a well-crafted sentence, it was missing that extra oomph to take it to the next level.

Congrats to Judie, and well done to both entrants!
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Old 10-06-2008, 08:22 PM   #2 (permalink)

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Damn, I meant to enter this. I even had an entry forming in my head.
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Old 10-06-2008, 08:37 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Good job, Judie. It was indeed much better than mine, lol. Hopefully we'll get more entries for next time.
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Old 10-08-2008, 02:46 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Thanks guys! I'm so excited!

Yeah, after the peroxide hair stuff, I was sorta just stretching the sentence a little...

Thanks again.
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Old 10-08-2008, 01:15 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Woah, congratulations.

<3 me now?
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Old 10-09-2008, 06:12 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Always <3 for everyone
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Old 10-09-2008, 01:28 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Will there be a poem entry contest? Or a draft paper on the "Migration of Leachers"?
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Old 10-09-2008, 01:47 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Will there be a poem entry contest? Or a draft paper on the "Migration of Leachers"?
There are weekly poetry contests and sentence contests, along with monthly short story contests. Additionally, there is the Pumpkinfest contests in the main forum, a section of which is poetry-based.

You should check here for more info:
Information on all Contests

Pumpkinfest 08
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Old 10-09-2008, 01:56 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Sweet thanks, But what about my essay paper on the leachers?
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Old 10-09-2008, 08:52 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Well it really depends on the themes, when you can submit ur essay. You could always just post it up and see what ppl say, or you could wait for the right theme to come along, which might take a while.
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